


The Dawn

by Zeram



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama/Romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1997-03-03
Updated: 1997-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-11 06:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeram/pseuds/Zeram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sleepless nights are just a sign of a bigger problem, that only the relationship between Sentinel and Guide can resolve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dawn

 

Disclaimer:The characters Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg belong to Pet Fly and  
Paramount etc. No money has changed hands for this story. I am just borrowing  
the characters for a while.

## The Dawn

by Summer Rain  


He entered the loft putting his coat on it's hook. He put his keys on the counter. Man, what a day it had been. He felt as if he had been on the run all day. 

The past few weeks had been tough. His roommate kept waking up in the middle of the night, prowling around the kitchen. He knew his roommate was having trouble sleeping but did not know how to approach him. The one time he had broached the subject he was met with obfuscation and denial. How could you help someone who would not let you past their defenses? The shields were in place and had been there for years. How to break them? 

He was still standing next to the counter when he heard the sounds. They sounded like whimpers. He froze. What should he do? Should he approach? Should he stay in the kitchen and pretend he didn't hear anything? He heard a thump as if someone had fallen. Enough was enough, he would help his roommate whether he wanted him to or not. 

He reached the bedroom and spotted him next to the bed. He was sitting on the floor. He had his legs drawn up with his arms around his knees. His head was bent forward hiding his face. He was still whimpering. Trembling racked his body. 

"J-Jim?" there was no response. Blair cautiously approached. He reached out and touched Jim's shoulder. His heart clenched when Jim looked up. Jim was in a state. His eyes were red and there were tears streaming down his face. He looked so lost and dejected. 

"Jim, what's wrong" Blair asked softly. Jim just shook his head and looked away. Blair would not let him though, he held Jim's face between his hands and looked into his eyes. What pain he saw there...a lifetimes worth. 

"Jim, tell me" 

"I can't Blair" 

"Yes you can Jim...try" 

"I can't, I can't" 

"Damnit Jim" he growled. As soon as he said it he regretted it. Jim had flinched and tore his face away from Blair's grasp. He jumped up and ran down the stairs. Blair went after him. He found Jim in front of the balcony door, staring into darkness. He couldn't see what was out there, but he was pretty sure Jim wasn't really looking at anything anyway. 

Jim knew Blair was watching him but did not turn around. "Did I ever tell you why I chose the Loft?" Jim asked. 

"No, why?" Blair asked moving forward to stand behind Jim. Stopping when he saw Jim's shoulders tense. 

"It was the sky?" Jim said. "Looking out over the balcony...makes me wish I was a bird...I could just fly away and leave it all behind" Jim spoke as if he were in a trance. Blair spoke quietly trying not to break that trance. "What is it you want to fly away from Jim?" 

Jim didn't answer, instead he leaned against the glass door. "I'm so tired Blair" he whispered. He slid down the door until he was kneeling in front of it "...so tired" 

*Oh God...what is going on here?* Blair asked while asking aloud "Tired of what Jim?" He knelt down next to Jim and put his hand on Jim's back. Jim tensed but didn't move away. 

"Tired of always trying to be strong" Jim said. 

"Then let it go Jim, no one expects you to be strong all the time" Blair said. 

"N-no, I have to...he'll come back if he thinks I'm weak" Jim said, there was a childlike quality to his voice as he said it. 

*What the hell?* Blair's heart dropped at the fear he felt emanating from the big man next to him. Who and where was the he that Jim was referring to. Blair was not a violent person but at that moment he wanted nothing more than to hurt the person who had hurt Jim...and continued to hurt Jim by the mere fact that he existed in his memories. 

"You know, I was always a small kid...he was always saying he had to toughen me up...said I was a sissy" Jim made a sound between a laugh and a hiccup. "Luckily puberty hit...I started working out, trying to help out mother nature...he couldn't call me a sissy anymore...couldn't hurt me anymore...as soon as I was able to I left" 

Jim turned slightly towards Blair. "That is why I became a cop..to stop people from getting hurt...I don't want anyone to hurt...and then when Lash took you...I'm supposed to be there for you...to take care of you" 

"You don't have to" Blair said as he reached forward to stroke Jim's cheek. 

"But I want to" Jim said looking into Blair's eyes. "I love you" Blair's hand stilled *Did Jim just say what I think he said?...And why am I not more bothered by the idea?* 

Jim was looking at him concerned, holding his breath. Blair smiled at him reassuringly. Blair took a shaky breath. What to say? He was walking down an unfamiliar path here. 

"Jim, when we are out there" he pointed towards the door "you are the sentinel, you are the detective...in here you are just Jim...out there, because of who you are, you want to take care of everyone...in here you can let all that go" He put a finger on Jim's lip to stop him from interrupting. 

"Yes, I am telling you to let it go Jim...let me take care of you...let me take care of you..." Blair whispered stroking his hand over Jim's face. "Out there you are the strong one..in here it's just you and me Jim...you can lean on me, I won't let you fall" he smiled as Jim took him literately, sliding down a little to lay his head on Blair's chest. 

He put his arm around Jim. Jim sat there, content to let his feelings wash over him...it felt so good to place himself in someone else's hands. 

He smiled when he felt Blair lean forward to place a soft kiss on the top of his head. "I love you too Jim" he heard Blair say softly. He turned his face to Blair and they kissed softly. A first kiss that held the promise of more to come. 

They sat there in each others arms watching as the dawn appeared. The sun came up, bringing with it a new day, a new understanding, and a shared love.  
  


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